Title: So Tired
Characters: Dean, Sam, John. Some names you may recognize but AU, for example Benny is Dean's math teacher.
Rating: Teen for swearing
Spoilers: none really
Warnings: Dean likes to swear. Mentions anorexia. May be triggery
Summary: The boys settle down for an extended period while John's away on hunt. It might be all fun and games for Sam but Dean's having a hell of a time trying to keep everything together.
Disclaimer : I don't own anything and I'm not making any money from this.
A/N I'm guessing most people forgot about this story and I wouldn't blame you if you did. I don't have much of an excuse as to why the update took so long except for real life, moving and a massive case of writers block. I knew exactly how I wanted it to end but I had trouble getting there. Everything I wrote felt like it was ground already covered. I'm still not competely happy with it but if there is anyone reading this I hope you like it.
Dean approached the hardware store with a feeling of trepidation. Could he really pull this off?
He had sat on the floor of his apartment for what felt like hours, feeling like a complete and total failure. His dad gave him one job and somehow he managed to screw it up. But when didn’t he let down the people he loved?
He had been close to calling his dad back and admitting that he was a disappointment when he realized that the answer had been staring at him all along if he hadn’t been acting like a whiny princesses. He just needed more money. The best way to get more money was just to get another job. He’d ask for more hours at the grocery store but his dad would just take that money. There had to be another place that would hire him. He usually only worked 3-4 days a week so that left the other evenings to work.
So he picked himself up, walked out the door and headed downtown, only to find out none of the other places were hiring except one.
The hardware store.
Normally, he would enjoy working there because he loved being around tools. He often thought if he wasn’t a hunter he would want to restore antique cars. The problem wasn’t the job, it was the hours.
Backshift. 10pm to 5am.
If his dad would just let him drop out it would be perfect. Why the hell did he need to finish anyway? It’s not like he needed to know how the Second World War started to gank a werewolf. But he was out of options and really had no choice.
He really needed to stop being such a wimp. Did his dad get eight hours a night when he was in Vietnam defending his country? Dean was fighting for his family. He could do this. He could squeeze homework in during the hour between the grocery store closing at 9 and the being at the hardware store at 10. The library was open till 10. He could go there. The shifts at the hardware store ended at 5. He’d be home by 6. He could get an hour of shut eye before school at 7. He didn’t need that much sleep and there was only 3 weeks until Christmas break. So he could definitely do it until then.
He took a deep breath and walked inside.
A half hour later he walked out with the job. The owner had been impressed with his skills and he could start that night.
He headed home because he still had a weeks’ worth of homework to catch up on. When his stomach rumbled he realize that the immediate problem of no food wasn’t taken care of. He’d just have to bit the bullet and ask Cas to borrow $10 until he got his first pay check. He was sick of peanut butter but it was better than nothing.
Until then he’d just drink water and hoped it helped. It didn’t, all it did was make him feel nauseous.
Two days later
One more step. Just put one foot in front of the other, he told himself. You’re past the half way point. When you get home you can sleep.
Man, he was tired.
He planned on trying to squeeze in a quick nap before his first shift but he’d had too much work to catch up on. He went to his shift at the store and he found he really enjoyed the work. The guys gave him a bit of a hard time at first but when he demonstrated that he knew what he was talking about he was able to give as good as he got. The work was physically demanding though. He was responsible for loading and unloading trucks, stocking shelves, setting up and tearing down displays, and cleaning. When he got off at 5am he had two hours before his shift at the grocery store at 7. Given it was a 45 minute walk home, he didn’t see the point, so he basically had 2 hours of wondering around. He tried to go into a couple of all night café’s but he got booted out for not ordering anything.
That two hours seemed like 10 before he finally got to the grocery store for a cleaning shift. He was only supposed to work 7-11, but he got asked to stay and help with some inventory. Since he’d cancelled his last shift he didn’t think he could refuse this time. So it was about 5pm before he got out of there.
Since Monday’s were the day the sales started at the hardware store, they worked Sundays to make sure everything was stocked and ready. He about an hour of homework left, so he if worked for an hour he could sleep for 2 and then head back to work.
Although doubt about this plan was creeping back in as he tried to stop himself from yawning. Man, he was feeling like he wanted to drop and this was just day one.
Damnit Dean, would you just stop being a whiny little princess. You wouldn’t hear dad complaining.
He didn’t think Sam would be there when he got home because his brother had been disappearing more frequently and for longer periods of time. So he was shocked when he let himself in and found his brother sitting at the table eating a burger and fries from MacDonalds and reading his math text book.
“Hey, Dean,” he greeted his brother.
“Hey,” he said in return as he tried to stop his stomach from rumbling.
“I got you one too,” Sam said handing Dean the bag. I just got home a little while ago so it should still be hot.”
“I don’t care,” Dean mumbled as he gratefully took the bag. “Thanks Sammy.”
“Sam,” came the expecting correction.
“It’s always going to be Sammy, bitch,” Dean quipped.
“Jerk,” Sam fired back. “Can you help me with this? I don’t understand how to figure out these angles.”
He tried to push down the feelings of resentment. Sam was only home because he needed something. Still he had brought him a burger so that meant he really did want his help. “Okay, Sammy!” He said emphasizing his brother’s nickname. “Let big brother teach you a thing or two.”
It took a lot longer than Dean had hoped for Sam to finally get it but when they were done, Sam surprised him by wrapping his arms around him. “Thank Dean,” he said sincerely and appreciatively. “You saved my life.”
Suddenly all the late nights were worth it. Looking out for Sammy was his job after all.
“Only you could consider your grade point average a matter of life and death,” Dean teased back and tried not to roll his eyes.
Those feelings didn’t last long. By the time he got his own homework done it was almost time to leave for work. There would be no sleep that night. He’d have to hope he got an hour in the morning.
Like so many things in his life, that didn’t’ work out either because when he got home and saw the papers sitting out front waiting to be delivered he wanted to cry. He was now going on 48 hours with no sleep.
Two Weeks Later
Benny looked over his DVD collection and pondered which movie to put on. “You want popcorn?” he asked his long time partner Jimmy Novak.
“Yeah, but I have to finish grading these tests. I didn’t get it done yesterday,” he said with a mock glare.
“I didn’t hear you complaining last night,” he shot back. “Interview with a Vampire okay?” he asked.
“Again?” Jimmy asked. “This obsession you have with vampires is a little unnatural. Should I be worried?”
“Only if you want to be,” Benny said suggestively.
“Later I’m going to…”
“What?” Benny said. “You can’t leave me hanging,"
“I hate to kill the mood, but I just graded Dean’s test and he failed.”
“I think….” Benny started before he was interrupted by a noise coming from up the stairs.
“Dad,” Cas called to his dads.
Both turned toward their son. “Castiel, what are you doing up? It’s late and you got school tomorrow.”
“I can’t sleep,” Cas admitted. He wasn’t sure if he was doing the right thing or not. He’d been going back and forth about whether or not he wanted to bring his suspicions to his dads. He had one friend and he did not want to betray him but he didn’t want to see him get hurt either. Dean had seriously scared him today.
He had known something was wrong when Dean didn’t meet him at his locker. Both Alastair and Crowley were hanging about the library door but Cas stood his ground and went looking for Dean. He found him at their usual table, slumped over and sound asleep. Cas had trouble waking him and when he was finally able too, Dean eyes were glassy and unfocused. His right eyelid was slightly drooped and it was watering, his speech was slurred and incoherent and Cas was worried that he might have had a stroke. It took about 5 minutes for Dean to fully figure out where he was.
Once he finally snapped back, he said he had been up late studying and he was feeling it because being tired triggered a migraine. He just needed to get through today and go home and have a good nap.
It sounded reasonable to Cas’s ears but he had a feeling that he was missing something and there was something else going on. That was confirmed when the bell rang and Dean grabbed the table and swayed when he got up. Although he tried to deny it there was no mistaking that he was feeling extremely dizzy.
“Come here, son,” Jimmy said in a worried tone and moved his papers to make room. Benny took a seat next to them. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. It’s just…it’s not about me. It’s about….oh man I hate myself so much right now.”
“Castiel, you’re starting to scare me,” Benny said worriedly.
“Sorry. Really. I’m fine. It’s not me. I swear. It’s just that… I promised I would never do this.”
“Is it Dean?” Jimmy guessed.
“Yeah,” Castiel admitted hesitantly. “You guys know I love you and I don’t want to hurt you but…”
“It’s hard having your parents being teachers in your school, especially when they’re two dads.”
“I don’t care about that. You know that!” Castiel emphasized. “It’s just that some people don’t want to be my friend because they’re worried that I’ll go running to you with their secrets and here I am doing just that. I don’t want to rat Dean out but…”
“You’re worried about him. He’s your friend and that’s only natural,” Jimmy said trying to put his boy at ease. “I understand how difficult this is for you but if you think it’s something we need to know than I’m glad you made the decision to come to us,” Jimmy said.
“Why don’t you tell us what you think is going on?” Benny said gently, trying to put Castiel at ease. “Let us deal with what you tell us and if at all possible we’ll make sure to keep your name out of it.”
“Thanks dad,” Cas said gratefully. Little by little with some gentle questioning help from his dads, Cas told them what he had seen that afternoon. “He just looks so…I don’t know…out of sorts. He’s asked me to borrow money a couple of times and he never eats lunch anymore.”
That got Benny’s attention. He had been building a theory about his troublesome young student ever since he’d had the reaction to his anorexia project. “Does he bring anything?” Benny asked.
“He used to,” Cas answered wondering where his father was going with this. “He used to bring a sandwich and some fruit, usually an apple or a banana, then that just went to the fruit and then water. I’ve seen him eating a lot of Tylenol lately too although I know he suffers from migraines. When he got up he dropped his bag and some of those over the counter caffeine pills spilled out. I don’t know dad. I get the impression that his family doesn’t have much money and I wonder if he has to work. I’m worried about him. He just seems like he’s about to fall over an edge. An edge of what I don’t know.”
Benny reached over and hugged his son. “I know that wasn’t easy. I think I’ll set up a meeting with him after school. Don’t worry son. I can do it as part of his inclusion program so he won’t know that you brought it to our attention.”
“Thanks dad,” Cas said feeling both relief that his dad was going to try and help Dean but regret that he had to rat him out in the first place. He just hoped he had done the right thing. Dean needed help but what kind?
Benny had planned to speak to Dean the very next day but as fate would have it he never got the chance. Dean was absent Monday, Tuesday. His father had called him off due to migraines. On Wednesday Benny had meetings all day. He’d try to arrange meeting with Dean and his dad for Friday although he had a feeling that Dean was going to have an excuse as to why his dad would be unavailable. After the break he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He’d call John Winchester himself if he had too.
Sam let himself into the apartment late Wednesday afternoon after making the rounds to collect his paper money. That alone left him in a bad mood because he was behind by 6 customers who refused to pay and when they did it came out of his pocket.
“Dean, I’m home,” he called as he went to his room to drop his bag off. He wanted to go to the store and pick up some supplies for his hideout and he needed more dogfood for Bones. They had a chemistry test so he wanted see if his brother could help him. He was having trouble with some of the formulas. “Dean!” he called again when there was no answer.
When he found Dean passed out on his bed he tried to stop himself from getting angry. About a week ago Dean put his foot down and refused to deliver the papers anymore. He told Sam if he wanted his pocket money he had to do it himself. Not wanting to give up his pocket money Sam had no choice. It kind of pissed him off to come home and find Dean sleeping in.
Sam knew that wasn’t entirely fair since he Dean did work and go to school but still it seemed like Dean disappeared as much as Sam did himself these days. It seemed like he was never home. Sam knew he worked after school but FoodWorld closed at nine. Sam had no idea what Dean was up too. He probably had some girl he was seeing. That what was getting Sam’s ire up. Dean got mad at him for not coming home and he did the exact same thing. Dean was such a hypocrite sometimes.
When he was home he was totally neglecting his responsibilities. If their dad came home tomorrow and saw the state of the apartment there would be hell to pay. Alright he supposed it wouldn’t kill him to help out a bit but Dean wasn’t keeping up his end so why should he?
He was about to wake his brother but he stopped when he noticed that Dean had tacked a sheet over the window and put a cool cloth over his forehead. There was an empty bottle of Tylenol and a glass of water that was ¾ full. That much mean either Dean had a bad headache or a migraine. He felt bad for his earlier thoughts and decided that Dean needed sleep more than he needed help with is homework.
As he attempted to tackle his homework his mind started working overtime. He loved his hideout. He could do whatever he wanted and he didn’t have to answer to everyone. He always wanted a dog and he loved every minute he got to hang out with Bones. He was starting to resent having to leave it and come back to an increasingly empty apartment. Dean was busy with his own life. He had almost no time for him. In a couple of days, Dean would be over his migraine and school would be on Christmas break.
Maybe he could stay at his hideout and not bother coming back. Dean could work and hang out with his girlfriend or boyfriend if he was dating that Cas guy he was hanging out with. Sam had fun teasing his brother over that.
The more he thought about it the more he wanted to do it. He pulled a piece of paper out of his notebook and began working out how much it would cost to buy enough supplies for two weeks. He’d have to live on junk food to be able to afford it but it would be worth it to be on his own, even if it was just for two weeks.
Knowing his brother would freak out if Sam didn’t tell him his every move and to avoid an argument he’d just leave a note for Dean that said he was going to stay at friend’s houses.
By the time he finished his work and headed towards his hideout and his dog he had made up his mind.
He was going to do go for it.
“Oh fuck of!” Dean swore when his alarm clock went off. He slammed the snooze button and tried to go back to sleep.
“I said fuck off!” Dean mumbled as his hand snaked out, grabbed the offending piece of machinery and threw it against the wall. “Its your own fault,” he said to the offending piece of machinery. Wanting nothing more than to fall back to sleep but knowing he had to work at the hardware store he knew he had to get his lazy ass out of bed.
“Come on Dean. If you get up you can have Tylenol.” That was enough to get him to a sitting position. His head felt like a marching band, multiple drummers and the cast of Stomp had taken up residence. After that first week the headaches started. They had been steadily growing worse. His Imitrex was long gone. He’d inquired about getting his refills but the cost was half his paycheck so he declined and stocked up on the over the counter stuff. He’s spent a little extra and got the stuff marked for migraines and had been sucking back like they were candy. They might as well have been candy for all the good they were doing.
He was pretty sure he was already over the daily limit but he really didn’t care. He popped the top and found the bottle empty. Didn’t he just buy it a couple of days ago? “Figures,” he said as he threw bottle ended in the same place as the alarm clock. He’d had to swipe another bottle somewhere.
Dean dragged himself out of bed, exhaustion oozing from every ounce of him and headed toward the shower. Maybe he’d get lucky and drown.
He had seriously under estimated his need for sleep. Maybe things would have been different if those first few days had gone the way he’d planned but he had no idea how long he could keep up this schedule. He had planned getting a break when school was done for Christmas but the only thing he’d heard from his father was a message that said he’d be gone a few more weeks and that Dean had better work every hour he could over break.
He had no idea how he was going to produce his father because he was sure it was only a matter of time before Mr. Lafitte requested a meeting. Dean was behind several days on his homework and he knew that his teacher had seen him working. He’d been in the store several times when Dean was working.
He had pretended to be his father and called in sick to school for two days but if he tried for more, he’d need a doctor’s note. He’d gotten lucky today when Mr. Lafitte had meetings but he’d had to put up with Ms. Best in Inclusion. So maybe lucky wasn’t the right word.
Thinking about this stuff made his head hurt more so he tried to stop but he just couldn’t shut his mind off. When he got dressed he had to get his knife and put a new hole in his belt. He was barely eating and the physical nature of his jobs were playing havoc with his weight. He decided that was the least of his worries. Besides it was more important for Sam to have the food Dean was buying.
He decided he didn’t give a fuck about Anorexia. He just wanted that nice nurse who looked after him in the hospital. He wanted his dad to come home and tell him he didn’t have to work so hard. He wanted 8 days a week so he could have a day off. He wanted his brother to stop disappearing so often in case their dad came home, but most off all he just wanted a break.
But he knew that wasn’t coming. So he dug into reserves he didn’t even know he had and left for work.
He was half way there when he realized he didn’t even know if Sam had even been in the apartment. He’d worry about it tomorrow. If he survived today that was.
He knew it was inevitable and of course Mr. Lafitte didn’t disappoint him. He told Dean he need to see him after school. That suggested how serious things were. This meant that Mr. Lafitte didn’t think the problem would be solved with the 15 minutes he spent with him in Inclusion.
Fuck. He was really in for it now.
But he did have the entire day to figure out a way out of things. He might be able too if he had the ability to think. If he had that he might not have done what he did in his history class.
He’d forgotten they had a test today. Of course he hadn’t studied. So when the teacher gave him his paper he was in an extremely bad mood.
Question 1, he read to himself. What ended in 1865. This should be easy and he should know his but the pulsing in his head was growing everytime he tried to think and he had no idea how he was going to get through his work shift tonight let alone this stupid test. So he decided to do what he did best when he was pissed. He got flippant. He picked up his pen and wrote:
Question 2. Where was the declaration of independence signed? Dean wrote at the bottom.
He wrote these kinds of answers for the rest of the fill in blank questions. Then he got to the essay.
"You are to assume the role of a Chinese immigrant and write a letter home describing your experiences. You letter should include the following: your experiences and contributions in the west.
Dean smirked as he began to write.
As he walked into Inclusion later that day he was seriously regretting his earlier decision. He was going to hear about it.
He was surprised when it was just a normal inclusion session. They worked on grammar and punctuation. When he had his one on one session, Mr. Laffitte didn’t even mention his history test. He figured he was waiting for their after school meeting to read him the riot act. Maybe fate would be on his side for once and his head would explode. No such luck. It was still intact when the bell rang. He packed his stuff up and tried not to breath a sigh of impatience. He had to be at FoodWorld in an hour. Thank God he didn’t have the hard ware store that night.
“Thank you for waiting, Dean,” Benny said to his wayward student.
Dean just shrugged. He was getting used to these meetings. “I know I’m behind. I’ll catch up over break.”
Sitting directly across from Dean he could see exactly what Castiel had been talking about. He’d read a quote one time about how the eyes were the window to the soul. This perfectly described Dean. His eyes had dark circles under them and they looked almost sunken in and bruised. His green eyes seemed glassy and lifeless. He recognized the tiny crinkles of pain lines in the corner. Benny's father had suffered from migraines and he could recognize them anywhere. He was slumped over as if he was exerting every ounce of energy just to sit up as much as he was. Most disturbing though was the weight loss. It was significant. His clothes looked too big, almost as if he had raided his father’s closet. He knew they had fit him at the start of the year.
“I missed two days. Its takes me awhile to catch up. You know that,” Dean said defensively. He could feel Mr. Lafitte’s gaze on him and it was making him uncomfortable.
“It’s not those days I’m concerned about. We discussed this before. You were behind before you missed time. Is there something going on?”
“No!” Dean protested. “I’m just too dumb to be able to keep up. I’ll have to give up my job guess. There goes my car.”
Knowing that Dean was trying to bait him he ignored Dean’s words. “Then there was today’s history test. What to explain that?”
Dean squirmed. “Not really.”
“What about this?” Benny asked showing Dean the copy of his essay.
“It said to assume the role of a Chinese immigrant. That’s what I did. Why would someone Chinese write home in English? In many of the poorer villages illiteracy rates would have been high so there is a possibility that his relatives might not even be able to read it in Chinese, let alone English. I should get bonus points.”
“Did you study?”
“Some. Guess it didn’t stick but my answers aren’t technically wrong.”
“No but you know it’s not what the teacher was looking for.”
“Just fail me,” Dean said tiredly.
“I don’t want to do that. I’ve said in the past I don’t think you need actually be in Inclusion. I’ll talk to Mr. Adler about the test but Dean I need you too tell me if something is going on. Are you okay? What can I do to help you?”
That floored Dean. He could deal with anger. He could deal with disappointment. He could deal with being forgotten but he didn’t know how to deal with people wanting to help him.
Dean felt like he was drowning. The pressure on him was becoming overwhelming. He had been right about his dad not giving them money. He’d left Dean $200 and told him to make due. If he hadn’t taken that hardware store job they’d be homeless. As it was he was still going to be over a 100 dollars short on rent. He had no money to pay phone or power. It was in danger of getting shut off.
Here was what he had been longing for. Here was someone who actually noticed he was struggling and offering him a life line. It was almost enough to want to make him a grab it. Shame and guilt and pride were at war with need to just let someone else take care of everything for a change. He was so tired he just wanted to let go.
“Please let me help you Dean,” Benny said again a very gentle tone of voice. He could see that Dean was having an internal argument about what to do.
It was weakening Dean’s resolve that Winchesters handle their own. It was almost enough to make him crack.
Damnit Dean what the hell are you doing?
He couldn’t tell this guy anything. It would be like calling social services himself.
“I’m fine. Just go in over my head like I always do. Can I go? I have to pick up my brother.”
Benny thought for a moment that he’d gotten through. He saw Dean’s face start to crumble and he would swear that he saw a tear prickling at the corner of his right eye but as fast as it was there it was gone and Dean's face hardened and Benny could see the walls go back up.
"Everything's fine," he said again.
“I want you to have your father call the school and make an appointment for after the holidays. We need to talk about some things. This is non-negotiable.
“Yes sir.” Dean replied as he got up headed out the door. He stopped and looked back. “Uh…thanks Mr. Lafitte,” Dean said sincerely. “Also tell Cas to stop avoiding me. I know he told and will you tell him I’m understand and uh…thanks again for trying.”
It was that Benny caught sight of the lone tear that travelled down Dean’s cheek and he felt his heart break. Instinct told him that something very serious was going on but if he didn’t tread carefully Dean would be gone before he had a chance to help and he really wanted to help his troublesome student.
He’s figure out a game plan after the holidays.
He watched Dean stumble out the door, like he was about to pass out any moment.
Why did he feel like it was already too late and that he’d failed?
Dean had been tempted to skip the last day before the holidays but he didn’t want to risk the school calling his father. Could he be any more of a dumbass? Why the hell did he show weakness to his teacher? Dean hated teachers who cared. They were nosy and stuck their two cents in where it didn’t belong.
His dad was going to kill him. That as for sure.
He needed to stop being a princess because he was tired. He’d get through it like he always did.
The first couple days of the holidays were a blurr between work and sleep. He knew that he was neglecting his primary task of looking after Sam and his brother was on his own for large chunks of time. He barely saw Sam.
His main focus was working as many hours as he could and wondering if he could get a 3rd job somewhere because the money wasn’t stretching far enough. The diner downtown was looking for someone to bus tables and wash dishes. He realized one evening on a rare day off that he had no idea where Sam was half the time or even if he was home.
He had seen Sam leave that morning with a duffle bag saying he was sleeping over at a friend’s house for the weekend. Dean was half asleep and couldn’t remember what he said. He must have said yes because Sam never came home all weekend.
Monday was when things started to hit the fan. Dean had worked the hardware store the night before and went to the diner and inquired about the job. He didn’t get it, unfortunately because they said they needed him to be available during the dinner rush and it conflicted with his grocery store job. He was almost kind of glad. He did a double shift at the grocery store and then went home to crash, thanking a God he didn’t believe in that he wasn’t working his other job tonight or the grocery store next day. He couldn’t believe his luck that he as off for the next 24 hours. Some serious nap time He noticed that Sam wasn’t home.
He didn’t think too much of it because he figured he wouldn’t home until his curfew at 11:00 (not that he followed that most nights). Dean just crashed. He was out as soon as his head hit the pillow.
He slept for about 15 hours straight.
He had no idea if Sam had been home and gone. He had no idea when he got home the next day. It was hard for Dean to know if Sam was actually coming home or not because he was usually in bed or at work when Sam was due to come home.
So on Thursday night he called in sick at both his jobs and did his best to stay awake and listen for Sam. He hadn’t come home that night, nor had he been home when Dean left for work that night. He checked and realized that the level of food wasn’t going down, except for the small amounts he was eating.
How long had it been since Sam had come home? Dean realized he hadn’t seen him for almost a week.
Could he be a worse brother?
Needless to say he was a nervous wreck at his job and got yelled at for making careless mistakes and when he almost got run over by a forklift his boss sent him home.
Dean called off the next day. He had to find Sam. What if something had happened to his brother while he was being a lazy ass. What if Sam was…
God Dean don’t say it. Don’t even think it.
If Dean thought he was exhausted before it didn’t compare to how he felt four days later. He’s scoured every inch of their town. He even checked the woods, down by the river, and even called the hospitals. Thank God nothing turned up on that one.
He tried Sam’s friends but he had to be cautious because he couldn’t let them know that anything was wrong.
He got fired from the hardware store that Monday because he missed 3 shifts and hadn’t called in.
Who cared about a fucking job. His brother was missing.
If he felt overwhelmed before it was nothing compared to what he was feeling now. He had one job and he fucked it up.
He did more than fuck it up. He was a complete and utter failure as a brother.
And as a son.
Because there was only option left. He failed Sam and he failed his dad.
He knew he had to do it but he didn’t want to. How do you admit to your hero that you’re a big disappointment?
It took a while before he screwed up his courage and dialed the emergency number that his dad gave him. The one he was told never to call.
“This better be fucking important,” a rough gravelly voice yelled from the other end.
“Dad!” Dean cried in a voice that sounded like a strangled whisper.
“Dean! What the hell is going on?” John said with a small touch of concern entering his voice. His heart had almost stopped when this phone rang.
“Oh…God!!! Dad….I…Dad please… Sam….” That was when the months of exhaustion and stress caught up with Dean and slumped boneslessy down the wall almost dropping the phone but he had to tell his dad. His dad would make it right. Then he could sleep.
“Dean…What the hell is going on. Focus boy! What’s wrong with your brother? Tell me! Its an order.”
“It’s Sam. He’s g..ggone,” Dean hiccuped.
“What do you mean gone?”
“Oh god….Dad….help….Sam’s gone.” That was when Dean finally broke and started sobbing hard. “I lost him dad. Oh God dad, I lost Sammy.”
Please read and review to let me know if anyone is still reading.